Have my abusive parents and family ruined my life mentally?

I don't think people can answer this one for you hun.. Even if theyv been in yoursituation. Different people get affected differently. My brother died and everyone around me distanced themselves cos they didn't know how to approach the situation.. So I was very lonely. A man kept going out of his way to see me.. Me being at a bad place in my life let him in. Dated him and found myself too afraid to leave. He was abusive.. I got sicker and skinier and sadder and started to believ I needed him cos no one else could love me.. As abuse has these affects on people. Lucky for me, one night he threw me down the stairs in the dark and locked the door. I was forced to live in my car, but I was finally released from him. For years I was like a little mouse. Afraid of people.. If it sounded like sum1 was at my door I'd run to the shower so they'd think I was unavailable.. Once you start letting positiv things into your life (which takes courage to begin with) you'll be able to let all the toxic go.. The only person your hurting is yourself.. Revenge will not make you feel better. But if you just pitty them, and not expect more of these people, you will realize you don't need to even waste your thort or heart on them.. And when you forget what they taught you about yourself and when you learn to see you in perspective.. You'll see your a strong amazing person that endured through so much. When you start to undo what theyv done, you'll start to learn to appreciate the good in you. And when you love yourself, it will be easier to let sum1 love you.. Xxx I hope that helped.